He is your bestest friend in the whole wide world. You've known each other for years and have gone through several life milestones and ridiculous fads together. You're on the phone longer than usual, pulling all nighters, falling asleep to each others breathing. He is asking you to join him on his outings a little more frequently. He is asking you about your thoughts on life, marriage, children and your previous relationships. All signs say that he is interested in taking this baeship to the next level, right? Wait! don't buy that Knot magazine just yet. Let's think about this for a minute girlfriend.
I'm all about love and marriage and the like, but I am also a staunch advocate of getting clear answers before making moves. Especially when it comes to men. I do not claim to be the expert on their thinking patterns and I have not been to any of their secret meetings but let me tell you that I've had enough male friends who felt comfortable enough to tell me this. When they are interested in making you their one and only they will tell you in plain simple English. There will be no confusion, no need for an interpreter, no need to call your girl squad to decipher code words, nothing. Wait for the clear message. I don't know how they are asking women out these days because I’ve been married for a few years, but let me tell you that “will you be my girl” or “I’m interested in us being exclusive” or “you belong to me and no one else” is a clear indicator that if you are caught having dinner with another man, you have some explaining to do Lucy!
If you are confused about it then we all are. Please do not go around asking people if he likes you or not. This is a waste of everyone’s time. If you want to know something, ask the man. I’ve always asked because I don’t have the time or energy to play relationship hide and seek. If we are truly best friends then we should be comfortable enough to address any changes in our relationship. Also, See point number one.
While you’re at it, please try and have a serious conversion of what is expected and what is not. I’m not saying that you should be interviewing each other across a conference room table, but at some point you should know each other’s boundaries.
Side Note: Pushing a man’s boundaries does not equate testing his love for you. You are just getting on his ever loving nerves and you will end up pushing him away. Please stop it! Stop it now!
I love, love and I truly love the institution of marriage. It is the most wonderful feeling to marry your best friend because your actually ahead of the game when this happens. Just make sure you start off on the right foot. Don’t force it and don’t try to create it with no direction from God (shout out to Abraham & Sarah).
Please consider that your best friend may need to remain your best friend. But if you both decide to take it further, just take the ride and enjoy the scenery, making sure you both know and agree on the final destination.
Until next time,
Live in Gratitude. Live in Love.