If you've been reading a few of my blog posts, you will know that I'm a preacher of Purpose. I truly believe with all my heart that God created everyone with intention and purpose. Not only does he have a plan for our lives but he gave us all the tools we need to live out our full potential. Most people relate purpose to career or ministry choices, but did you know that finding and living your purpose helps you in dating and marriage? Well, it does and when a woman knows her purpose, she will attract quality, godly men. Plus when two people who know their life's purpose come together, nothing can stop them. Y'all ready for this? Let's go!
One day I was chatting with a group of young ladies and I asked one of them "so what do you like to do?" She gave me a confused look and asked for clarification. So I repeated, "what do you like to do with your spare time, what are your hobbies?" A look of sadness came over her face as she responded with a bit of annoyance, "nothing". I was confused and being the inquisitive person that I am I asked her several more questions which led me to ask her "what do you think are your God-given talents? The things that you can do the easiest without much effort?" She looked at me with annoyance and said: "I don't have any talents, I don't know how to do anything or what my purpose is". I walked away from that conversion feeling a mix of confusion and sadness. Why? Because I know this same woman to walk around advertising that she is ready to get married. How does that work? What do you have to bring to a marriage or anyone for that matter? Sadly, this is the case for a lot of single women.
I know there is a strong message out there that every woman should explore life and find their purpose before settling down. Travel, date, establish your career etc. I'm not a preacher of this message because I believe that everyone's path is different. For some women caring for a husband and children is their life's purpose and for others extensive travel and career is where they should be. Today I'm not talking about what your purpose should be, I'm talking about why it is important to know it before you commit to a serious relationship.
How Does Knowing Your Purpose Help You In Dating And Marriage
- Knowing gives you a confidence that repels no good men
Knowing who you are and where you are going in life keeps you on the road to success. Men who do not have good intentions don't have time to try and impress you or live up to your standards. They want the easy prey. They will take one look at you and move on to the next woman that will put up with their mess. This is a good thing because it saves you time, energy and your sanity.
- Knowing your purpose helps you attract the right men
A man can assess the worth of a woman by how she allows him to treat her. There are a bunch of books and movies out there sending this message in different ways. The sum of it all is that if he is a man of integrity and value, he will only settle down with a woman who will help him fulfill his purpose. He will only align himself with you if your purposes align. This is a good topic to bring up on a date (maybe second or third). Asking "what do you think your God-given purpose is?" is not intrusive and will give you great into his view on life.
- Knowing helps you plan with precision
Of course, there will be surprises here and there on this crazy ride we call life, but you better believe that you will be much more prepared to handle them than the sister who is totally lost. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, winter will not catch you by surprise because you planned and prepared for the worst before it happened. You will not let any ole person come in and undo all the work you've done so you take time to vet the people who come into your space.
- Knowing keeps you focused on what's important
Say you prayed, fasted, prayed some more and took the Purpose Plan Lab course. You now know that your purpose in life is to serve young women who have been hurt in the past. You are excited because this is your passion, this is what you've always wanted to do and the circumstances in your life have led you to this moment. Then you meet a man who seems to be everything you've ever wanted but he does not like nor does he want children. He is also a corporate man who loves to spend time at lavish events and has no use for public service or anything that has to do with helping the less fortunate. He's not a bad person, he's just on a different path. Oooooh, this is a sticky one! You have two choices and because you know what you were called to do, you will save yourself and Mr. Corporate time and heartache by choosing what's important. Which leads me to......
- Knowing your purpose will lead you to the right person
When you follow the plan that God has for you, he will put people in your path that will help you fulfill your purpose. This may include your husband. The husband that will have a similar plan for his life and you will be the one to help him fulfill his calling. This man will challenge you to live up to your potential. He will make sure you are both on the path to living in God's will for your lives. You will not find this mind, drifting all over the place not knowing or doubting what you were put here for. You will only run into him when you are both walking on the same road to destiny.
Knowing your purpose doesn't just give you clarity for your life and career. It takes a lot of the guess work out of making decisions on pursuing relationships. You get clarity on every aspect of your life.
Until next time,
Live in gratitude. Live in love.